Stress

Since this blog is supposed to capture our life, I figured it would be good to acknowledge that with all the fun and good times we have, there is also times of difficulty and stress. The first thing that happened recently is, that despite being a solid performer at work, I was not given a merit increase because I got a significant bump last year. As you can imagine, I was not happy about it. I wasn't expecting a lot but it is a blow when you get nothing. It's hard to enjoy and be motivated in your job when you don't feel valued, especially when they keep asking you to take on more work with less resources and for less pay. It's hard to feel like I'm not being taken advantage of. They also made me start going to an office full time which is more personal expense and more time away from the boys.
It's been ten years with the bank but I am getting the impression that I should be looking for a new job.  

A few weeks ago, after completing blood work and an ultrasound on my thyroid, I was given a preliminary diagnosis of Hashimotos. This is an autoimmune disease where my body attacks my thyroid and it ultimately stops producing what it should causing me to have hypothyroidism. I'm going to see the Endocrinologist next month for additional testing and for a biopsy on four nodules that they found in the ultrasound. I've been having neck pain and have been extremely tired so I'm hoping once this is all sorted out, that I'll feel better. 

We made a plan for our backyard landscaping that we were very excited about. It includes a pool, grass area and a fireplace. It is something we've been wanting to do for a while and finally started getting bids to do it. We have to get a home equity line of credit to make it happen. In that process, our house was appraised and unfortunately appraised for less than we were expecting. Frankly, I'm certain that the appraiser was lazy and didn't get the comps that were right for our house. As a result, we didn't get the amount of loan we wanted. Now, it's back to the drawing board. So very frustrating.

The most stressful and concerning challenge we are facing just surfaced this week. We have noticed that Logan has developed a tic. It is a motor (head and eyes) and vocal tic (grunt). As a parent, watching this and not knowing anything about anything about it, is an incredibly scary thing to face. There are a lot of unknowns at this point. When I ask him why his neck moves that way and if he's making his neck do that or if it just happens he replies with, "God just made me this way." My heart breaks for him. I have no idea what this means or what our plan is but it's stressful not knowing it or having answers. The good thing is that it appears to be a minor tic and doesn't seem to bother him. 

I know all of these things will pass and will be resolved somehow. Rick has been doing a good job of trying to help me stay focused on the things I can control and do so in the right time. I don't mind being busy but when there are stresses like this that our out of my control, it makes it much harder for me to mentally manage it all. This is life. I am just trying to focus on our upcoming spring break trip to Florida that I am really excited about.